In a group of people who are mothers and support tending to a child's needs rather than putting their own desires first and allowing children to sit and cry it out, a person wrote that they wanted to know how accurate a doctors exam was to determine if the child growing inside them was the 3 weeks she thought it must be or the 8 weeks the doctor said it was. She wanted to seek a termination if the child had only been growing inside her for 3 weeks but did not feel it was the way to go if it had only been growing inside her for 8 weeks.
here is her exact post.
anon' anyone on here a midwife or something similar? I found out I was pregnant last week, clearblue test said 3weeks+ after about 1minute on the day I was due on my period meaning I conceived the week after my period which is about right. But I'm not ready for a baby yet (no judging please) I was on the pill an didn't miss one at all I'm due to start back work in 8 weeks its not the right time at all so when I went doctors about havin a termination I had a pelvic exam, saying I was 7-8 weeks pregnant. Is this since I conceived or from my last period? Either way this means I concieved before my last period! How accurate are pelvic exams? If the pelvic exam said 7-8weeks is there any chance I could only be 4-5weeks and it was wrong? Please help x
someone commented this
I believe this woman came to this page seeking particular advice and not whether she should choose adoption. If this were the advice she were seeking, she could have visited one of the countless pages dedicated to persuading women to not terminate pregnancies, etc. She has to make the decision that is right for her at this point in her life. It may not be a decision everyone here would make or one that everyone agrees with; nevertheless, none of us are in this woman's shoes and none of us will be affected day in and day out by her choices. Offer support rather than condemnation.
in response to some other women's offering that if she did not want the baby there were other options. I did not interpret this to mean she had already decided to terminate just that she was looking into it. It also appears to me that she is on the fence about the decision that she might not in fact feel it is the best thing to do just that she does not know what else to do. so I replied with this link.
and this response.
Exactly as you said NONE of us will be affected day in and day out by her choices. It is her choice to make and live with the joys or consequences for the rest of her life. It is and will be her burden to bear. I also know from personal experience working with mothers who decided to abort as well as mothers who decided to allow their children life weather they kept the baby or chose adoption. The ones who were questioning gestation are also questioning there moral desire ability to abort. There is a very real emotional issue called post abortion syndrome very similar to PTSD. Imagine if she felt 8 weeks she would let the baby live and at 3 weeks she would be OK with abortion. Maybe she could not live with wondering all her life if she made the right choice. Possibly what she needs right now more than anything is someone who understands her fears and can help to ispell them helping her make the right choice for her. It just might be adoption is the right choice for her and I believe she should be given advice involving that option. She did not say she was set on termination and to say only comments supporting or encouraging abortion are the right ones I feel is wrong.
and someone said this
Julie, your choice of words, again, are making it seem like you are superior and that she should feel guilty or is horrible for even thinking of the word abortion. I'm sure she is a smart woman who will do all the research and do what is best for HER. I think you should leave it alone.
and someone else said this
I agree with chantell anne!!! And julie what the heck "mothers who allow their children life" comment thats wrong on so many levels to write.soooo judgemental!!!as the sayin hies unless youve walked a mile in someone elses shoes.........!!!!
No clue what chantell said cause her comment was removed by the time I saw it.
to which I replied this
All words written or spoken are open to interpretation. I simply stated exactly as others have that her choice is and will continue to be hers to make as ours are ours to make and deal with in this lifetime. Interpretation is up to the reader. where one person will read that and feel abortion would cause them joy and a child would cause them sorrow. Another will read it and feel a child would cause them joy and abortion would cause them sorrow. There is no judgement in that. The the very reality that there is more than one side to every story. I work with young mothers some of whom choose life others choose abortion. There is no judgement in that just the fact that the alternative to abortion is life. I have had hundreds of women come back happy they were given choices aside from abortion support. I have never encountered a women who choose to abort and was happy about it later. Those are just the facts as they apply to my personal experience. nothing less nothing more. You know why people lie. because the lie often times hurts less than the truth. if anything hurts you directly I am truly sorry for what ever is causing it I am never sorry for telling the truth as it applies to my situation.
someone then asked if I was a mother. When I replied they removed their comment. or blocked me not sure which. but I can no longer see their comment.
I am a mother I do feel I maybe have walked a mile or a few hundred thousand. I know what it is like to raise a child with the support of the father I know what it is like to raise children whose father walked away and gave them up . I just might have walked a mile in her shoes. I know how hard it is. I know you decided to give up for your child or give up your child for you .
A choice every parent has got to make for themselves. Of course except those men who are the victim of the mother deciding for him and either giving the child up without his knowledge or killing the child and there is nothing he can do.
I do not see why anyone would be angry or feel I am judgemental for saying the truth. a serial killer is in fact a serial killer to state so is not a judgement it is a matter of fact. A mother is a mother that is a matter of fact. A dad is a dad that is a matter of fact. A dog is a dog that is a matter of fact. The opposite of true is false the opposite of high is low the opposite of right is left. The opposite of life is death. If choosing abortion results in a life not lived then abortion is death. To state that one chose to abort and the other chose to let her child life is a statement of fact. Period.
And I stand by my statement
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